29 Reasons Why You Should Not Move To Denver
29 Reasons Why You Should Not Move To Denver
Here is a list of reasons why you should not move to Denver.
- 300 days of sunshine requires constant squinting or investment in sunglasses AND sunscreen.
- We are only the second best football team in the country. (Probably best for you to move to Seattle?)
- Being one of the happiest cities in the country gets truly annoying.
- Lazy folks get easily irritated living in one of the most active cities in the U.S.
- You will need to adjust your baking recipes due to the altitude.
- It is a non-stop battle of: ski or snowboard? Hike or mountain
bike? Camp or luxury hotel? Art scene or music scene? Work at an amazing
start-up or an established big brand?
- Will need to add body lotion as a line item in your monthly budget
due to very dry air. (Think of what else you could be spending that $$
on??!)
- We only have two buffalo herds. (Think of how many Wyoming has??)
- Constantly feel like an underachiever due to an inability to hike
all our trails, ski all our runs, visit all our towns and eat all our
Mexican food.
- A fox might try to have your kitten for dinner.
- No pitbulls allowed.
- I-70, I-70, I-70 and I-70 (Oh, and I-25 too.)
- The green chile is way too hot.
- Too many available jobs to sort through – becomes a huge hassle.
- We elected a governor that made beer.
- We are the #1 most popular city in the country to move to – DON’T BE A FOLLOWER.
- Walking and biking everywhere will make your car feel neglected and unloved – which is pretty rude.
- So many different neighborhoods to choose from – you will certainly
go mad in selecting one. (Might kill your real estate agent in the
process. Could get ugly. Best stay where you are.)
- Mountains are too close and block the view.
- Once a week in the summer 1000s of bike riders take to the street (in costumes!!) and muck traffic all up.
- You realize the Gold Rush is over, right?
- We make more beer than any city in the nation and have thinner air to get you drunker – faster. Think of what that could cause!
- An average of 300 inches of snow in the mountains every year? That is a LOT of shoveling.
- Remember all of our many rivers are really just melted snow. Brrrrrrrr.
- Too many national, state and city parks. You will probably never
want to leave, which will make out-of-state friends and family seriously
PO’d at you.
- Number haters nightmare: 53 mountains over 14,000 feet, 7 sports teams, 205 city parks, 850 miles of bike trails, 2nd biggest
theatre district in the U.S., a start-up opens their doors here every
72 hours, #1 outdoor amphitheatre in the country, way too many
distilleries to count and the X Games.
- Skiing one day, golfing the next? Priceless BUT also pricey.
- It is the top city for singles and those over 60, but if you don’t
fall in one of those categories, is this really your place? Think about
it.
- The whole place is stoned. (Legally)
