Thursday, December 1, 2011

You Might be a Filthy Rich Cretin If….Oh Never Mind, the Math Doesn’t Really Work

You Might be a Filthy Rich Cretin If….Oh Never Mind, the Math Doesn’t Really Work

Handy Reference Guide to Obama’s Gaffes and Goofs

  1. “The Bomb” that fell on Pearl Harbor
  2. “The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.”
  3. 10,000 People (A Whole Town!) Died in Kansas ~ Oops, Overstated by 9,988
  4. Admits His Plan would Necessarily Cause Energy Prices to Skyrocket
  5. Air Raiding Villages a la Yankee Air Pirates: Destroys Whole Afghan Villages!
  6. Another Senior Moment
  7. ATMs Cause Unemployment
  8. Blames Hugo Chavez’s Election on (ta da) BUSH! Oops.
  9. Blows off the Salute To Heroes (MOH) Inaugural Ball
  10. Botched Toast ~ Babbles over “God Save The Queen”
  11. Bowls like a Special Olympian
  12. Bows to the Chicom President
  13. Bows to the Emperor of Japan
  14. Bows to the Mayor of Tampa
  15. Bows to the Saudi King
  16. Burns up 9,000 gallons of Jet Fuel on Earth Day
  17. Can’t Keep MOH Recipients Straight
  18. Can’t Remember His Own Wife’s Name
  19. Celebrates the Fifth of the Fourth
  20. Claims to be the only President in History to Try to Eliminate Unnecessary Regulations
  21. Confuses “his” Christianity for “his Muslim faith”
  22. Congratulates the FBI’s First Hundred Days
  23. Constitutional Principles on Judiciary Written 20 Centuries Ago
  24. Cops Acted Stupidly (@ 1:30)
  25. Date Nights at a Quarter of a Million a Pop
  26. Did He REALLY just call Palin a “Pig”??????
  27. Disrespects the Flag and the National Anthem
  28. Dr. Obama on the Causes of Autism
  29. Doesn’t Know How Old His Daughter Is
  30. Doesn’t Know the Difference Between Great Britain and England
  31. Exaggerates about Military Small Unit Methods, Weapons, and Tactics in Afghanistan
  32. Expects to be President for “Eight to Ten Years”
  33. Faux White Sox Fan Can’t Name Favorite Players, Loves “Cominskey” Park
  34. Flippantly Answers the “When Does Life Begin” Question ~ Above His Pay Grade
  35. Flips Off Her Royal Clinton
  36. Flips Off John McCain
  37. Flubs Town Hall Hosts’ Name
  38. Forgot to Duck ~ Too Busy Waving
  39. Geographic Genius, NOT! Hawaii is Now In Asia. (note WH transcript from Hawaii, Obama thinks he’s “here in Asia”) para 13 from bottom
  40. Get Yer Keys On!
  41. Gins up the Reason for his Birth In Selma (Bonus…Jive Accent)
  42. Gives a Shout out to MOH who Isn’t
  43. Gives the Queen an iPod
  44. Gives Thoughtless Gifts to Brit PM Brown and his Children
  45. Had an Imaginary Assignment to the Senate Banking Committee
  46. Had an Uncle who Liberated Auschwitz
  47. Har, Har, Har, $800 BN Wasn’t As Shovel Ready as We Thought ~ Hilarious!!!!!
  48. Has Visited 57 States
  49. Harvard Degree ~ Mechanical Engineering? No, Definitely NOT!
  50. Hates Old People
  51. How to Keep All Those Wars Straight?
  52. Identifies a Whole New State (Eau Claire)
  53. If I Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, I’ll Baffle ‘em With BS
  54. If Asking A Billionaire to Pay the Same Tax Rate as a Jew ~ Anti Semitic? (Shrink friend calls it the Amytal Interview)
  55. (a) through (m) I’m Just Freakin’ Perfect Every Day, In Every Way. If You Don’t Believe it, ASK ME!!!!
  56. Inappropriate “Shout-Out” Before Addressing Fort Hood Shooting (linked video removed but another is HERE).
  57. Inhaled Frequently. That was the Point.
  58. Insults French President Sarkozy ~ “Hope Your New Kid Isn’t Ugly Like You”
  59. Israel is a Strong Friend of Israel’s ~ Whilst being Perfectly Clear
  60. Makes a Nasty Joke about Nancy Reagan and Seances
  61. Medical Genius (Off Prompter)
  62. Mistakes a Window for a Door
  63. Mocks Joe the Plumber
  64. Navy Corpse Man
  65. Oaf of Office
  66. Ogles La Derriere Like a Frenchman
  67. Oh Wait…Robots Create Jobs with Unions (@ 1:35)
  68. Omits God from Thanksgiving Day Address (Lucky Lady Apparently Blesses The Won’s House)
  69. Panders to Hispanics…Rewrites History Again
  70. Pesky Infrastructure Terms Like “Intercontinental” Trip Him Up
  71. Pitches Like a Girl Whilst Wearing Mom Jeans….Wheeeee!!!!!
  72. Proclaims Himself Commander AND Chief
  73. Promotes Canada’s Prime Minister to a President
  74. Refused to Visit the Troops Because No Media Was Allowed
  75. Reporters with Foreign Policy Questions are SOOO Annoying!
  76. Scares the Crap out of New Yorkers
  77. Scares a Marine Guard by Shaking His Hand
  78. Screw Our Allies ~ I’m going with Hugo and Ortega on This One
  79. Seeks Greater Inefficiencies in the Health Care System via Obamacare
  80. Sees Dead People
  81. Shankopotomus (watch the Crackberry go flying)
  82. Signs the Wrong Year in Guest Book at Westminster Abbey
  83. Snubs Brits by Returning the Bust of Winston Churchill
  84. Someone Waging a KMA can’t Spell “Libya” (h/t our own Warner Todd Houston)
  85. Staff Incompetence ~ Obama’s Limo Gets Stuck
  86. Staff Incompetence Part Deux ~ Obama’s Ignorance of Geography is Apparently Virulent
  87. The Time has Changed for Come
  88. Thinks “Victory” is a 4 Letter Word
  89. Thinks Austrian is a Language
  90. Thinks Europe is a Country
  91. Throws Out the Honored Guest with the Trash
  92. Two Words to Define Campain 2012? ~ “Our Vision For The Future. That’s three words. Four.” (last 2 paras).
  93. Wants to Halt the Rise of Privacy
  94. Waves Like Alfred E. Neuman (h/t El Rushbo)
  95. Waves Again ~ Speak to the Hand Part Deux
  96. Waves Yet AGAIN ~ Speak to the Hand Part Trois
  97. We are the Ones We’ve Been Waiting For
  98. We Can’t Balance The Budget…w/o Tax Increases ~ Um, Bernanke Disagrees
  99. When in Ireland, Do as the Irish Do….NO WAIT….BYOB (non-alcoholic)
  100. Will Halt The Rise of the Oceans
  101. Wouldn’t “Punish” His Daughters with a Baby AND Equates Pregnancy to an STD
  102. WTF of the Day
  103. You Might be a Filthy Rich Cretin If….Oh Never Mind, the Math Doesn’t Really Work

~ Blonde Gator

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